2 Samuel 19:1-43

Relationships are vital to our lives but they can be very fragile.  In order for relationships to work there has to be a willingness to confront as well as forgive one another.  The rebellion of Absalom is over, but there are still a lot of broken relationships that must be fixed.  All of the people involved must decide if they are going to be bitter and seed revenge or if they are going to be understanding and try to reunite the country.  Humility is vital to the success of any relationship.  Those who were wrong must be humble enough to admit it and seek forgiveness.  Those who were right must be humble enough to graciously forgive instead of seeking retribution.  Civil war has broken many relationships, but through humility on both sides those relationships can be fixed.  God gave us the best example of restoring relationships through Christ.  We would do well to follow this example.

REBUKE: David has won the war, but he is heartbroken over the death of his son.  Instead of celebrating his victory, David is mourning the death of his son.  Joab, rebukes David severely and warns him that if he does not go out and thank his soldiers that he will have an even bigger problem on his hands.  They had risked their lives to protect him and had been loyal to him when many others had not.  David has taken these men for granted and does not perceive how offensive his mourning is to them.  Joab lets David know that his actions are communicating that he would prefer that his loyal servants be dead as opposed to his son.  We, like David, can easily be blind to the consequences of our actions and attitudes.  We do not easily see how what we say or do is perceived by others.  It is easy for us to offend one another without even realizing it.  When that happens, we desperately need someone who is close enough and wise enough to rebuke us and let us know where we are wrong.  The freedom to rebuke one another is a vital part of building relationships that will please the Lord.

REPENTANCE: David heard Joab, and was humble enough to recognize that he was right.  He goes out and sits in the gate to receive his people and thank them personally for their faithful service.  It is hard to admit when we are wrong and there are times where it is simply hard to do what we know is right.  We do not always feel like doing the right thing, but we must learn to live, not by what we feel, but by what we know to be right before God and man.  There was also a great deal of repentance that needed to go on in the nation of Israel.  Those who had followed Absalom’s rebellion were in a very difficult position.  They could either insist on their rejection of David as king, or they could repent.  Fortunately, they repented and the healing process could start.  Sin and offense are an inevitable part of every relationship on this sin cursed planet.  They key to maintaining relationships is having the humility to repent from our sin, admit that we were wrong and change the way that we were acting.  Any relationship that does not involve repentance is doomed to fail. 

REWARD: As David returns to Jerusalem, he is faithful to reward those who helped him along the way.  Many men had been faithful to David on the front line, behind the scenes and even behind the enemy lines.  These people had risked their lives to be loyal to David and they had made their resources available to him, now David is faithful to reward them for their loyalty.  One of the most important words in any relationship is “thank you.”  It is easy for us to expect that our friends will be loyal but we must never forget to be grateful to them.  David honors his friends and invites them to take part in the celebration of his return to Jerusalem.  It is important for us to ask ourselves every now and then; who do we need to thank?  God has been faithful to provide loyal friends in our lives.  We must thank Him and them if we want to keep those relationships healthy.

RESTORATION: There were many people who were not loyal to David, they had cursed him, lied to him and rebelled against him.  One by one, David sees them and forgives them without seeking to take revenge on them.  There were misunderstandings that happened along the way and David is anxious to put these things behind him.  David had been deceived by Ziba concerning Mephibosheth, but Ziba had also provided food for David.  This was not a time for dealing with such matters, all if forgiven and complete restoration takes place.  On this day of celebration, David was not willing to let past offenses that were a part of God’s punishment for his own sins ruin the party.  David is fully aware that he was not innocent in any of this and that he had brought these problems upon himself.  This realization makes it far easier to restore those who offend us.  As long as we only look at the offenses of others, we will seek retribution; but when we are faithful to recognize our own offenses we will practice restoration.