2 Samuel 3:1-39

Bitterness is a very dangerous thing; it destroys relationships and leads men into great sin.  Abner and Joab were great warriors who defended and fought for opposite kings.  Joab was David’s general and Abner was Ish-bosheth’s general.  The story told in this chapter is a drama fit for prime time television with many twists and turns.  However, it reveals the dangers associated with bitterness and the thirst for revenge when we are offended.  Relationships are important, complicated and very fragile.  We all have a variety of relationships on different levels and in different circumstances.  We must be careful to protect these relationships in a way that will be pleasing to the Lord.  There are many lessons to be learned from the various relationships in this passage.

ABNER IS OFFENDED BY ISH-BOSHETH: Saul had a concubine with whom Abner apparently had a relationship.  Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son called Abner out on this in a way that was humiliating.  It is hard to tell from the text is the accusation was true or not, but whatever the case may be, it created a rift between the king and his general.  It is interesting to note that Abner was very well aware that the Lord had appointed David to be the next king of Israel.  Despite this knowledge, Abner remained faithful to the house of Saul until Ish-bosheth offended him.  Abner decides that he will abandon Ish-bosheth and turn to David.  What is most evident to me is that when we live in sin, bad things are bound to happen.  These men were knowingly going against the plan of God for the kingship in Israel.  The rift between them is widened because of this sin under which they were constantly living.  A clear conscience and relationships based on obedience and truth are essential for success in all that we endeavor to do.

DAVID IS BEFRIENDED BY ABNER: Abner sends a message to David that he is willing to bring the nation of Israel under his kingship.  David conditions this pact of peace upon the return of his first wife, Michal, the daughter of Saul.  David has taken several wives since her; at least six other wives are mentioned in this passage.  Abner complies and takes Michal away from the second husband to which Saul had given his daughter.  Abner makes good on his promise and gains the support of David’s kingship from Israel and the tribe of Benjamin.  Abner comes and feasts with David and the two men who were once enemies became allies in the effort to unite Israel under David’s leadership.  David knows what it is to be a warrior under orders and he respects Abner and is willing to forgive him of the past battles they faced.  It is important for leaders to be willing to restore those who have offended in the past.  David knows that uniting the kingdom will involve this level of restoration.

JOAB IS OUTRAGED BY ABNER: Joab is not nearly so understanding of David’s willingness to forgive.  Abner had killed Joab’s brother in battle and Joab wanted nothing to do with being on the same side as this man.  Without David’s knowledge, Joab send for Abner and when he meets him he goes and murders him.  Joab knew that what he was doing was not what David wanted and was an offense to God, but his heart is overcome with bitterness.  Joab’s brother had been killed in battle out of self-defense after Abner had warned him repeatedly to stop chasing him.  Joab murdered Abner in cold blood.  Bitterness in our hearts will lead us to do terrible things if we do not deal with it properly.  When others offend us we must try to look at the situation from every perspective possible and not just our own.  Hurt feelings do not justify acts of treachery.

DAVID IS DISAPPOINTING BY JOAB: When David hears what Joab had done, he asks God to curse the house of Joab, tears his clothes, gives Abner a hero’s burial and laments what has happened.  Abner had been David’s enemy but was now a key to the unification of the nation.  Joab had sent this process back by his actions and David was livid.  There is an obvious lack of communication between David and Joab.  David does not go so far as to kill Joab for his crimes but he does make it clear that it is Joab’s responsibility before God.  David’s actions assure Abner’s men as well as his own men that David was a man of honor.  His morning of Abner’s death endears him to the nation as was an important step to the healing process of a nation divided.  When wrong has been done, it is vital that we respond accordingly.  Integrity requires that we respond correctly to situations that are unjust and unfair.