Genesis 24:1-67

Marriage is a wonderful blessing from God, but it is definitely not to be taken lightly.  Certainly there are many cultural differences between the days of Abraham in the middle-east and today’s culture.  However, there are certainly principles from this narrative about how Isaac and Rebekah were married that will be of help to our families today.

ABRAHAM COMMISSIONS HIS SERVANT TO FIND A WIFE: Abraham was sensitive to the fact that Isaac needed a wife.  It is a foolish parent who tries to keep their children from marriage for too long.  Certainly, a basic level of maturity is a prerequisite for marriage, however, too often parents try to “hang on” for too long and end up inviting disgrace and disaster into their homes.  Abraham makes two things very clear to his servant.  First of all, he does not want Isaac to marry a woman from the land a Canaan because of the evil and idolatry that was rampant in these people.  He did not want Isaac to be bound by marriage to a local people that would end up exerting a great influence over him through his wife.  He wanted someone from his own people.  He wanted Isaac to have a wife that feared God and would be guided by his relationship with God rather than for Isaac to be exposed to and influenced by the local idolatrous families.  Second, Abraham made it clear that he did not want Isaac to go back to the land of his family in order to find a wife.  The reasons would have been similar, but additionally, Abraham knew that Isaac was the child of promise through whom God would fulfill all that He had promised in the past.  A spouse should always complement and assist in the fulfillment of God’s calling and never be a hindrance or distraction from it.  A spouse is a wonderful gift from God, but should never become a priority over our relationship with God or the call of God upon our lives.  We must, like Abraham encourage and take proactive steps for the marriage of our children, but we must help them to be sure that marriage does not become an idol that is worshiped in the place of our God who should be the only object of our worship.

THE SEVANT CONSULTS GOD TO ASK FOR WISDOM: Abraham’s servant was in a very difficult situation.  He was in a strange land looking for a family he did not know and had a vital task to perform.  The servant does what all of us should do when we face difficult circumstances; he seeks God’s face for wisdom and direction.  However, he did not just pray; he went to a location where he knew that the women of the city would be coming to draw water.  It does not make much sense to pray for a spouse but expect one to just drop out of the sky.  Abraham’s servant found a strategic location and then asked God for wisdom and direction.  He asks God for a sign that will prove the ladies character and serve as an indication of God’s approval.  Abraham’s servant wanted Isaac’s wife to be a woman of character who demonstrated a servant’s spirit.  He wanted a woman who would be friendly, helpful and go beyond that which was asked of her and perceive the needs of those around her and then willingly work to meet those needs.  I have never watered a camel before, but I would imagine that ten camels that had just made a long journey across a desert would drink a lot of water.  A strong work ethic is an important thing to find in a spouse.

GOD CONFIRMS REBEKAH AS THE RIGHT WOMAN: No sooner had the servant finished his prayer than Rebekah appears and is put to the test.  Rebekah responds just as the servant had prayed.  When the servant inquired as to her family and if he could secure lodging, he was assured that Rebekah was God’s choice for Isaac.  The servant is faithful to thank and worship God for His faithful provision.  God provided the right woman in the right place at the right time.  She was from the family of Abraham, she had kept herself pure as a virgin, she was kind, had a servants spirit, was hospitable and under the authority of her family.  The servant gave her a gold ring and bracelets as thanks for her kindness and a symbol of serious intentions concerning Rebekah and demonstrated his ability to provide for her needs.  I do not believe that we must set forth tests to determine whom we should marry as Abraham’s servant did.  These types of things can be too easily manipulated and wrongly interpreted by people who are trying to prove God’s blessing of an otherwise unwise relationship.  However, we must understand that there are basic qualifications that indicate God’s blessing of a relationship.  A spouse must meet the biblical qualifications for marriage.  God would have us marry a spouse of high moral character, with a kind and servants spirit who is under the authority of his or her family.  Rebellious, immoral, proud and selfish children do not make good spouses.  God is able to provide someone that is perfectly qualified to fulfill all of His requirements.  He is a wise and generous provider we must learn to trust and wait on Him.

REBEKAH CONSENTS TO BECOME ISAAC’S WIFE: As soon as Rebekah learns that the servant has greater intentions concerning her than just someone to draw water, she goes home to share about what had transpired with her family.  The man was brought into the home to explain all that had happened at what was on his heart.  Even though the servant had a clear sign from God that Rebekah was the right woman, he still needed to fulfill the cultural obligations of gaining the girl’s consent as well as the family’s permission.  The servant introduces himself as the servant of Abraham and faithfully recounts the story of how he came to find Rebekah and how the Lord had confirmed Rebekah as the answer to his prayer.  The family had to agree that this was of the Lord and gave their blessing for her to go and become Isaac’s wife.  The servant then bestows many rich gifts upon Rebekah and the family.  This is a cultural demonstration that gave assurance that the offer of marriage was sincere and that the groom had the means necessary to make provision for the bride.  A family’s approval and financial stability are certainly keys to the success of a marriage.  Too often young people who claim to be “in love” are not willing to gain the approval of the family or wait until they are able to afford marriage.  Family interference and financial strain are two pressures that a marriage does not need.  In the end the decision comes down to Rebekah who agrees to leave her home and be married to Isaac.  When they finally do meet, it appears to be love at first sight and they become joined in marriage.  May God give us the wisdom and grace to choose spouses and help our children choose spouses that are in accord with His Word and His wisdom.