2 Samuel 14:1-33

Communication is a very difficult thing at times, but it is vital for the health of any relationship.  Absalom and David have had a complete breakdown in communication.  Absalom assumed that David did not care about the rape of Tamar so he took matters into his own hands without communicating with David.  He then assumes that David is too angry to forgive him so he stays in exile.  At the same time, David stays quiet about his feelings for Tamar as well as his broken heart over Absalom.  We have two strong men who both want the same thing, but neither of them knows what the other one wants or thinks because the lines of communication have been cut off.  We must learn to be more effective with our communication in order to prevent broken relationships from overtaking our lives.

JOAB MANIPULATES DAVID INTO SENDING FOR ABSALOM: The lines of communication between David and Absalom have been cut off to the point that neither of the two men knows what the other desires.  This is not surprising due to the physical distance between the two.  The fact that both of them want the same thing; yet neither of them knows that demonstrates the great dangers caused by poor communication.  What is surprising is that the lines of communication between David and Joab are so poor that Joab resorts to manipulation in order to get his message to David.  He sends a woman who pretends to have two sons in a similar situation as David’s where one had killed the other and now the living son was in hiding for fear of his life.  David responds to the story by promising protection for the son who lives.  The woman then reveals that the story is really about David.  This is second time that David has been brought to the point of judging himself through the stories of others.  It appears that David was not very teachable as a king or open to seeing his own mistakes through direct confrontation.  First Nathan and now Joab uses these stories in order to manipulate David into judging himself.  Leaders must learn how to be approachable and how to keep the lives of communication open between them and the people around them.

ABSALOM MANIPULATES JOAB INTO STANDING BEFORE DAVID: David orders Joab to go get Absalom, but he does not allow Absalom to come into his presence.  As time passes, Absalom becomes more and more offended at being isolated from his father.  He sends for Joab on several occasions only to be met with silence.  Absalom gets Joab’s attention by burning down one of Joab’s fields and then waiting for him to show up in order to request and audience with David.  The message is finally related and for the first time David and Absalom finally have an idea of what the other is thinking.  It is easy for us to get isolated from one another when we don’t make an effort to communicate.  Restoration is almost impossible without communication.  It is a sign of poor leadership and pride when others must resort to manipulation in order to communicate with us.