Matthew 5:31-32


Marriage is very important to God.  He designed marriage to be a reflection of Himself.  He uses marriage as an illustration of His relationship with the church.  God’s intention is that one man be married to one woman until they are separated by death.  Marriage is to reflect the love of God, the faithfulness of God, the patience of God, the grace, mercy and forgiveness of God as well as many other attributes of God.  In essence, God designed our marriages to bring honor and glory to Himself.  This is one of the reasons that God hates divorce.  God only permits divorce because of the hardness of men’s hearts, but it is never God’s desire that a marriage end in divorce.  However, we live in a sin cursed world with sin cursed people where obedience to God’s will is not always a reality.  Divorce is a sin and just like every other sin it can be forgiven by God.  Jesus died in order that our sins might be forgiven and we might be reconciled to God.  God forgives, sin but sin has consequences.  This is a very controversial subject with godly men who know and love God’s that have vastly different beliefs on this subject.  Whenever this happens with an issue, it should remind us of the need to be humble in the positions we take and the way we take those positions.  Unfortunately, we all know people who have been divorced which then leads to questions about remarriage.  It is important for us to consider the principles that Jesus taught on this subject.

THE CONCESSION OF DIVORCE: Divorce was instituted because of the hardness of men’s hearts.  It was never God’s intention for divorce to be a reality in human relationships.  God planned for marriage to be the inseparable union of a man and a women for as long as they both live.  However, due to sinful hearts, marriage is not an easy thing.  When you put two sinners together under the same roof conflict is inevitable.  This conflict often led to people sending their spouses away.  In the culture during the days of Moses, men would often view their wives as property.  If a man was not pleased with his wife, he would frequently send her away, usually back to her original family.  This would leave the woman in a very difficult position because she was legally married but no longer living with her husband.  If she were to start a relationship with another man her first husband could come at any time and accuse her of adultery which was punishable by death.  This is why Moses legislated laws concerning divorce.  If a man sent his wife away, he must do so formally and in writing and in so doing he was releasing her from the marriage commitment and relinquishing all of his rights and privileges a husband.  Once divorce was instituted it began to be abused to the point that men were divorcing their wives for any and all reasons.  Jesus confronts this action by stating God’s view on this practice.  

THE CONSEQUENCE OF REMARRIAGE: Jesus affirms that those who divorce and then remarry commit adultery.  He had just finished teaching on the subject of lusting being adultery in our hearts and now He reveals that remarriage is adultery even when a bill of divorce had been signed.  The only exception to this was in the case where there had been unfaithfulness in the marriage.  This is where the controversy begins to heat up on these issues.  There are those who say that remarriage after divorce is permitted in the case of adultery, abandonment by an unbeliever and in cases where the divorce occurred prior to salvation.  There are others who say that remarriage is always adultery no matter what the circumstance.  They claim that the exception permitting divorce is limited to the betrothal period as we see in the example of Mary and Joseph.  There are excellent Bible scholars on both sides of this issue.  My position is as follows:  First, do everything possible to prevent divorce in the first place.  I will never counsel a couple to get a divorce no matter what has happened in the marriage, they have an opportunity to reflect the mercy and forgives of God and I will do all that is in my power to help them accomplish that.  Second, If divorce has already occurred; I will do all that is my power to help restore the marriage.  Third, if restoration is not possible my counsel would be to remain single as long as the other spouse remains alive.  Forth, I will not perform marriage ceremonies of divorced people.  This, from my perspective, is the safest position because it eliminates the possibility of adultery.  However, I recognize that there are many people who hold to a different position and that I could be wrong.  In light of this, my fifth position is not to exercise church discipline on couples who remarry after having been divorced in one of the three conditions mentioned above.  If another minister or the justice of the peace marries them I would limit the ministries they could perform buy not discipline them.  This is the closest I have been able to come to balance on this issue.


APPLICATION: Recognize that God’s design for marriage is for it to be for a life-time.  Forgive any offenses that occur in marriage as a means of demonstrating the character and grace of God.  Give great importance to marriage and don’t get divorced for any reason.  Always see for reconciliation of the relationship.  Know that our marriages are more about God than they are about us.  Be humble in our positions of controversial issues.

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