Matthew 19:10-12
10 The disciples said to Him, “If the
relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to
marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all
men can accept this statement, but only those to
whom it has been given. 12 “For there are eunuchs who were
born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made
eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves
eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let
him accept it.”
The decision to marry is the second most important decision
a person will ever make. The first is
the decision to trust Christ. Most
people will get married, it is the natural process of maturity and one of the basic
building blocks of the family. However,
marriage is not for everyone. It is a
very serious commitment. This text
demonstrates the risk of marriage and give some of the reasons for singleness.
THE RISKS OF MARRIAGE: The truth about the permanence of
marriage and that remarriage results in adultery, caused the disciples to conclude
that it would be better not to marry. Marriage
is a choice that must be made with great caution because it is a permanent
choice. Once the decision is made and
the marriage has occurred, there is no going back. It becomes a permanent condition before God
and has life-long implications. Many
marriages in the days of Christ were arranged by parents so the husband and
wife had little to say in the matter.
Interestingly, these marriages tended to last longer than marriages
today when the individuals have almost complete control. This speaks to the key role of commitment in
marriage. It seems that loving the
person to whom we are married is more important than marrying the person we
love. Marriage requires work and
flexibility because no matter how well we think we might know our spouse; there
will be many surprises along the way. We
must work at becoming the kind of spouse the Scriptures call us to be and be
flexible as the Lord grows our spouse through the relationship. It is a risk to get married because there is
no going back, but as long as we are committed, work hard to grow and are
flexible with our spouse, God can us marriage in our lives in a wonderful way.
THE REASONS FOR SINGLENESS: Jesus responds to the statement
that it would be better not to marry by stating that not everyone can follow
this advice but only those who have been given this teaching. Jesus makes it clear that the majority of
people will marry, but not everyone.
Jesus sites three reasons for singleness, referring eunuchs, which is
synonymous with castration. The first is
those who were born that way. This would
be a small number of men who are born without functioning sexual organs. This small number of people are most likely
to remain single. The second is those
who have been made this way by men. This
is likely referring to the practice of ancient kings who would sterilize male
public servants of high rank in order to protect the king’s harem. These people would serve the king without
distraction but generally did not have any choice in the matter. At times this was forced upon slave and
prisoners of war. The third is those who
would chose to become eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom. The most literal interpretation of the text
would be that some castrated themselves in order to serve the kingdom of God
without the distraction. However, in the
previous chapter Jesus spoke of self-mutilation in order to avoid temptation
and we do not take this instruction as literal.
It seems like this could be a chosen life of celibacy in order to be
free to serve in the kingdom. Whatever
the question at hand entails, Jesus indicates that these three motives would be
the reasons not to get married. Singleness
certainly provides for freedom to serve the Lord unencumbered, but marriage is
designed by God to help us grow in our understanding of Him and to sanctify us
to be more like Christ. No other
passages encourage castration, but there are others that would encourage
refraining from marriage or from sex within marriage for the purpose of
prayer. Remaining single to promote the
kingdom of God in foreign or hostile territory may be wise or necessary, but
this is the exception and not the rule.
APPLICATION: Marriage is a sacred thing to God and should never
be entered into lightly. Much more is at
stake in our marriages than our own happiness.
There may be instances where, for the sake of the kingdom, it would be
wise to remain single. Most instances prove
that marriage gives us the greatest opportunity to learn more about God and
project the image of God to a world that desperately needs to see God through
us.
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