Matthew 18:15-35
I think that the instructions in the passage before us present the solutions for most of the interpersonal problems that believers face today. In fact, I think that our failure to practice these basic principles has crippled the effectiveness of many churches and left many believers in a perpetual state of immaturity. The principles are not complicated or difficult to understand. Our difficulty in applying them comes from our lack of the humility, sincerity and sensitivity discussed in the previous passage.
God's solution for GOSSIP: FRANK COMMUNICATION. We seem to be experts at detecting the faults of others. It is far easier for us to know when someone offends us, than it is to perceive when we have offended someone else. This is true in every relationship including marriage, family, work, church, ministry, neighbors, friendships etc.. The problem is, that when these offenses occur or faults are detected, we do not use the open and frank communication that this passage requires. It is far easier to either complain about the offender to someone else or to just clam up and allow resentment to build. Both options are sinful and will poison any relationship.
God knows that loving relationships are vital to the effectiveness of the body of Christ and the deepest longing of every person's heart. So, He insists that we strive to restore relationships by going directly to the person who has offended us. I find that, in most cases, when we do this immediately, we figure out that there was a simple misunderstanding that is easily cleared up and the relationship is quickly restored. However, there are cases when this initial attempt at restoration is not well received. This is when it is important to evaluate our attitudes and how we are communicating and humbly admit to our own failures. If the problem remains unresolved we are then, and only then, to go to a mature brother or sister in Christ and ask for their help if resolving the conflict.
Another mature believer that is not directly involved in the conflict will often be able to clear up the lines of communication and point to errors on both sides of the issue. He or she may also have a more effective way of explaining the issues at hand or be able to bring additional Scripture to bear on the situation. This process may eventually involve several people as we strive to achieve restoration.
Relationships are so important to God that He requires that we continue to seek for solutions to the point of involving the elders of the church and eventually the entire church body. However, if we are obedient, the relationship will either be restored or the unrepentant will be identified as an unbeliever, still in need of salvation through Christ. In either case, the Body of Christ has been strengthened through this process and the relationship either restored or resolved, in that we do not expect to be able to always maintain harmonious relationships with unbelievers.
The process is clear, as are the reasons for it. It is not easy to practice but it is vital that we do so. Our testimony, before a lost and dying world and the reputation of the Bride of Christ, is at stake. May God give us the love for one another, humility before one another and the ability to frankly communicate with one another, that our relationships will reflect the glory of God.
God Solution for GRUDGES: FORGIVING COMPASSION. Many of us suffer from selective memory loss. We often find that it is very easy to forget our own failures and the forgiveness that we have found in Christ. However, our memories of those who have sinned against us can become so etched on the tablets of our hearts that bitterness begins to take root in our lives and, before long, walls are erected between brothers and sisters in Christ. God commands us to root out this bitterness and to bridge those walls through forgiveness. If we will be faithful to reflect upon the compassion that Christ has demonstrated to us and bask in the joys of the forgiveness that God has granted, forgiving one another will be the natural result.
Unfortunately, God's grace is quickly forgotten while personal grudges are constantly recalled. This is sin, and if it persists in our lives, it demonstrates that we may not have truly experienced the forgiveness that we so easily forget. The truth is that those who are forgiven should find it only natural to forgive. We are an imperfect people and it is inevitable that we will sin against one another. This is our reality until we are perfected in Christ when we see Him in glory. We must stand ready to forgive all offenses against us even if they are repeated, for that is the type of compassion that we have experienced in Christ. May we be quick to forget the personal offenses that occur between one another and may we never forget the amazing forgiveness that has been granted to us through Jesus Christ our Lord.
God's solution for GOSSIP: FRANK COMMUNICATION. We seem to be experts at detecting the faults of others. It is far easier for us to know when someone offends us, than it is to perceive when we have offended someone else. This is true in every relationship including marriage, family, work, church, ministry, neighbors, friendships etc.. The problem is, that when these offenses occur or faults are detected, we do not use the open and frank communication that this passage requires. It is far easier to either complain about the offender to someone else or to just clam up and allow resentment to build. Both options are sinful and will poison any relationship.
God knows that loving relationships are vital to the effectiveness of the body of Christ and the deepest longing of every person's heart. So, He insists that we strive to restore relationships by going directly to the person who has offended us. I find that, in most cases, when we do this immediately, we figure out that there was a simple misunderstanding that is easily cleared up and the relationship is quickly restored. However, there are cases when this initial attempt at restoration is not well received. This is when it is important to evaluate our attitudes and how we are communicating and humbly admit to our own failures. If the problem remains unresolved we are then, and only then, to go to a mature brother or sister in Christ and ask for their help if resolving the conflict.
Another mature believer that is not directly involved in the conflict will often be able to clear up the lines of communication and point to errors on both sides of the issue. He or she may also have a more effective way of explaining the issues at hand or be able to bring additional Scripture to bear on the situation. This process may eventually involve several people as we strive to achieve restoration.
Relationships are so important to God that He requires that we continue to seek for solutions to the point of involving the elders of the church and eventually the entire church body. However, if we are obedient, the relationship will either be restored or the unrepentant will be identified as an unbeliever, still in need of salvation through Christ. In either case, the Body of Christ has been strengthened through this process and the relationship either restored or resolved, in that we do not expect to be able to always maintain harmonious relationships with unbelievers.
The process is clear, as are the reasons for it. It is not easy to practice but it is vital that we do so. Our testimony, before a lost and dying world and the reputation of the Bride of Christ, is at stake. May God give us the love for one another, humility before one another and the ability to frankly communicate with one another, that our relationships will reflect the glory of God.
God Solution for GRUDGES: FORGIVING COMPASSION. Many of us suffer from selective memory loss. We often find that it is very easy to forget our own failures and the forgiveness that we have found in Christ. However, our memories of those who have sinned against us can become so etched on the tablets of our hearts that bitterness begins to take root in our lives and, before long, walls are erected between brothers and sisters in Christ. God commands us to root out this bitterness and to bridge those walls through forgiveness. If we will be faithful to reflect upon the compassion that Christ has demonstrated to us and bask in the joys of the forgiveness that God has granted, forgiving one another will be the natural result.
Unfortunately, God's grace is quickly forgotten while personal grudges are constantly recalled. This is sin, and if it persists in our lives, it demonstrates that we may not have truly experienced the forgiveness that we so easily forget. The truth is that those who are forgiven should find it only natural to forgive. We are an imperfect people and it is inevitable that we will sin against one another. This is our reality until we are perfected in Christ when we see Him in glory. We must stand ready to forgive all offenses against us even if they are repeated, for that is the type of compassion that we have experienced in Christ. May we be quick to forget the personal offenses that occur between one another and may we never forget the amazing forgiveness that has been granted to us through Jesus Christ our Lord.
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